Thursday, March 24, 2011

Cancer makes me want to cuss

Reasons my sisters cancer makes me want to cuss:

  • Being told that she is very serious, but not having surgery openings for 3 weeks
  • Not having her actual diagnosis and treatment plan until after surgery
  • The thousands of possibilities said diagnosis and treatment plan could be
  • The feeling that I can only be one or the other: tough as nails or a pile of mush.  I've spent the last 12 days being as tough as nails and 2 hours last night being a pile of mush.
  • Wanting to come up with something funny: a cool slogan, name for her cancer, tee shirt....anything to make it be funny and get it away from being serious
  • Having no control over her cancer, treatment, her schedule
  • Feeling like I have no control over my schedule
  • Feeling like"my life" is being interrupted by her emergency and knowing that thinking that means I'm a selfish jerk 
  • All the possibilities of what could happen to my sister this year and the rest of her life
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1 comment:

  1. The Anderson'sMarch 27, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    1. Go cuss. Seriously. Go out somewhere your girls can't hear you and scream awful obscenities. It will make you feel better.
    2. 12 days of stone and 2 hours of mush isn't a bad ratio at all.
    3. You're not a jerk. Your life IS being interrupted.
    4. Remember to take time for yourself. A burned out Becky isn't going to do anybody any good.

    XOXO

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